Resolutions: 3 reasons why they fail and what to do about it

“Sorry, I was taking you home!”
I’ve lost count of how many times I’ve said that. Maybe you know what I’m talking about here. In case you don’t, let me explain, nothing dodgy here.

This normally happens when I’m giving a friend a ride. Next thing I know, we’re deep in conversation and I’ve switched to automatic pilot. I’m driving to my house instead of my friend’s!
I bet this has happened to you. In more ways than one (even if you don’t  drive!)

Perhaps you have set goals or even made resolutions only to find that they got lost in the madness of everyday life. Before long, you went back to automatic pilot, went about your life the way you’re accustomed to.
Did you know that on average people make the same resolutions in the new year every year for 10 years? Why so many failures?

That’s usually because they haven’t set their goals properly.
I’m sure you’ve heard of SMART goals (Specific, Measurable, Attainable, Realistic and Time-sensitive, or some variation on the theme) but there’s something else, actually 3 crucial ingredients that are needed maybe above all else when you want to change something in your life, be it working out, eat healthier,  start your own business, etc…

Here goes.

1. Is the goal aligned with your values?
In other words, does it feel right in your bones or is it just a goal that someone else suggested? Are you setting it to fit in or do you really need/want it now ? If it’s something you wanted in the past but never got round to do it, be careful. Is it relevant now? Is it still in line with the person you are or aiming to be?

 

 

2. Does the goal stir you emotionally?
When you think of the benefits of reaching the goal, are you fired up? You will need emotion to reinforce your desire to work at your goal. Emotion = energy in motion. No emotion = no energy and therefore no progress. You are not naive, you know reaching goals requires energy. The energy is within you but you have to generate it.

 

 

3. Do you re-engage with your goal regularly ?
Life is full of distractions. Even a goal that fires you up can get buried in the clutter of modern living within a week, or at best within 6 months. Your motivation dwindles and you start justifying why the goal isn’t that important.

Don’t fool yourself, this will happen even if the goal could save your life.  We are great at self-justification.
So the solution is to verbalise /visualise your goal daily, before it becomes hard. Reflect again and again on the benefits of reaching it. Put your heart in it. Believe you can do it.

 

 

Just a little story to wrap this up.

In keeping with my tagline on the site (Reflect, Redefine, Rise ) I’ve been reflecting. I’ve been reading my diary (yes I journal, every now and then. It’s a great tool to get some perspective on your life) and realised a big win I’ve had in my mindset from 2011.
I was very fearful then, left a stressful and unfulfilling job. I knew I should do better in life, but wanted my family and friends’ permission to find out how I could leave the rat race, strike it on my own.
Although I have been employed on and off since, I have also had many ventures as a recording artist, author, entrepreneur, and I can honestly say that I my mindset has changed. No longer the pure employee mindset I thought I was confined in.

In the mean time I have also smashed my personal best of 40 consecutive push ups (to which I was stuck for 3 years). I have now tripled this.

So yes, we can all change, leave the automatic pilot behind and be more of who we are meant to be.

Have you been reflecting too? Any progress or lessons you would like to share?
Feel free to comment!

R.
Reflecting.

PS: If you need a boost to make changes in your life, try my 3 Video Life Changer

  • Arslan Razzaq

    It’s a great write-up Emotion = energy in motion. No emotion = no energy and therefore no progress. The energy is within you but you have to generate it. Thank you for this great piece.

  • Prisca

    SMART goals.
    Yes, we need to be more of who we are.
    We should not get driven or piloted by other’s dreams that we forget our destination.
    Thank you for the enlightenment.